


i'll miss missing you, now and then.

by cooliohoolio



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - GTA, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake AH Crew, M/M, deliberately vague in some places, written at 3AM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 10:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2619173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cooliohoolio/pseuds/cooliohoolio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin has spent the last two years running from his past and the people he left behind in it-including a man he loved and at one point trusted. One night, while he indulged in one of his favourite pastimes (staying up too late dwelling in memories and drinking to forget), a certain Geoff Ramsey gives him a call and he's thrown back into the life he was trying so, so hard to leave behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll miss missing you, now and then.

**Author's Note:**

> if this is kinda shitty, just know i wrote it at three am after listening to fall out boy all night

Gavin Free was probably every other word in the dictionary besides okay and all its synonyms. 

It was one of those nights, one of the nights where it was either nightmares and a night's rest, or insomnia and a clear conscious. Where he either screamed in his sleep or drowned all the crying and cold blue eyes that kept popping up in his mind with sweet, sweet whiskey that burned his throat as much as saying goodbye had. It was one of nights where Gavin thought of him and fell apart all over again, because two years wasn't enough to forget no matter how much alcohol he shoved down his own throat.

It was a night like all the others before it, or at least it started out that way. 

Gavin woke up in tears after seeing that bloody gun barrel and those damn blue eyes and hearing his voice all over again in his nightmares. His stupid, stupid voice. He sat in bed with his knees curled up to his chest letting out small sobs every now and then, somewhere in the back of his mind wishing someone would wrap their arms around him and tell him he was gonna be okay, like he had always done. Of course, no one did. No one ever did anymore. 

He got up from the lonely bed, his movements lethargic as he made his way to the kitchen. He went to get some water, but his willpower crumbled and the Brit went straight to the liquor cabinet. He wasn't even sure why he was trying to avoid drinking alcohol anymore. It' not as if anyone would give two shits. His arms operated entirely on instinct, almost robotic in their movements as he grabbed a glass and poured himself a drink. One drink quickly multiplied to two, and Gavin stopped counting somewhere around five. And, like every night before that, Gavin sat at his counter drowning his nightmares in whiskey.This wasn't the part that was different about the night. 

The night began to differ when the phone rang, its obnoxious ring filling the silent air and making Gavin groan. He laid his head down on the table, mumbling something about the 'dumbass bloody telephone'. The Brit pushed himself off the table with a sigh, stumbled over to the phone and let out a slurred 'hello?'.

"Gavin?" Said an all-too familiar voice that he hadn't heard since he ran away from the Fake AH Crew.

Gavin almost dropped the phone. Geoff fucking Ramsey was calling him, the Geoff Ramsey that he hadn't spoken to in two god damn years. A chill ran down his back and he was suddenly reminded of all the people he abandoned after he ran away from it all. More importantly, the /reason/ he ran away from it all.

"Geoff" He instantly sobered up, the man's name rolling off his tongue as if Gavin hadn't spent the last two years avoiding him and all those associated, "How did you find me?"

"Geez, thanks." The man joked, "I feel so missed"

"Geoff, you know what I mean" Gavin glanced at the oven clock, "It's two am. Why are you calling me?" The Brit could detect the slight tremble in his voice. Repressed memories of much happier time in the Brit's life resurfaced, mixed with some of the bad ones. He let out an involuntary sigh, wishing he could go back to then, to /them/. Then, Geoff spoke again.

"I was wondering if you would come over" 

Gavin's heart almost stopped. His hands became clammy and his breathing hitched. Those couple of years of running away were catching up to him and it was all Gavin wanted and less. He wasn't sure why he didn't hang up the phone right then, but he didn't and just listened to Geoff's breathing on the end before he found his voice again.

"No" was his instant answer. He just wasn't ready to see them again. He heard Geoff sigh on the other end, and guilt spread over his heart.

"Please, Gav. We all really... really miss you." Geoff's voice cracked, and that was probably the breaking point for Gavin, "Five just isn't the same as six. You don't have to stay just... come see us." 

That last line was genuinely pleading, and so Gavin caved. "Fine" he mumbled, "I'm not that far from Achievement City, I'll be over in 20."

And so Gavin Free found himself putting on a clean t-shirt and jeans, and grabbing his keys and making his way down the deserted hallways of his.apartment building and down to the parking garage where his motorcycle sat. He then found himself getting on it and headed toward the city that he had been so hellbent on getting away from. 

**

Gavin pulled up in front of Geoff's apartment, his heart racing and his breathing slightly faster than normal. 

I can't do this, he thought as his limbs acted automatically, as he left his bike and started making his way up the stairs to the apartment he once called home. The stairs seemed to go on forever, and he sure as hell wasn't taking the elevator. Even though his pace was slow, he was all-to-quickly faced with the yellow paint of Geoff's door.

I could still leave, he thought, I could leave and go back to England. They wouldn't follow me to England. 

But Gavin's trembling hands found their way to the door, and he knocked tentatively. Less than ten seconds after he knocked, he was met face to face with Jack Pattillo. Guilt flooded Gavin as the two men stared at each other for what seemed like and eternity. He reminded himself that it wasn't just the life he had tried to leave behind, but friendships that he had built over time. 

"Hey" Gavin mumbled simply and stared at the floors. He was probably expecting everything other than a bear-hug from the bearded man, but Jack grabbed his arm and pulled him into what was probably the tightest hug ever. "Jack-I" The Brit coughed, and Jack set him down on the floor. 

"You smell like cheap alcohol" Jack's words were laced with concern.  
"You haven't changed a bit" was Gavin's reply. 

Geoff came in from the kitchen, and gave Gavin a long, hard hug. He then proceeded to punch Gavin in the stomach, saying what an asshole he was for dropping off the map for two years. Gavin didn't really blame him.

Gavin glanced around at the seemingly empty apartment, looking for the familiar faces of Michael and Ray. "Where are the others?" He asked, confused, a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

"Michael and Ray are at their seperate apartments" The older man told him, not meeting Gavin's eyes. 

"Then why did I-" He was cut off by the most hauntingly familiar voice he'd heard that night.

"Gavin" The voice that had been the source of Gavin's nightmares said breathlessly, and he turned around to see the light blue eyes of Ryan Haywood.

He stumbled backwards onto the countertop, his heart going a thousand miles a minute and his breathing fast and hard. Suddenly he was back in the alleyways, after a heist gone wrong, so terribly wrong. Someone had tipped the police off and Ryan had his gun on Gavin and those damn blue eyes were staring at him and they were like ice in how cold and unfeeling they were. Gavin couldn't breathe.or think, just one thought on his mind.

'I need to run'

Ryan had dropped the gun after he'd calmed down and Gavin stuttered out a good bye and he fucking ran. He got on his motorcycle and drove away, as far as he could go before he had to pull over to catch his breath because he still couldn't fucking breathe.

And there stood the man who had trained his gun on Gavin stood in front of him now, a hurt expression flickering across his face. As far as Gavin was concerned, Ryan deserved it.

Ryan took one step towards him and Gavin fucking lost it. 

"Don't come near me," he hissed, "I ran away for a reason, that reason being you. " Gavin's tone was cold, but there was an audible tremble in his voice. 

"Gavin-"

"Don't 'Gavin' me Ryan. I still can't fucking believe what you did." he was raising his voice now, "I cant believe you would think I tipped off the police! I was your fucking boyfriend Ryan!! I loved you! Yet you still pulled that stupid fucking gun on me and I- I-" He had to stop, a lump forming in his throat as he tried to choke back the tears and anger he'd been repressing for two years.

Suddenly he was in the warm embrace of someone who was shedding tears onto his shoulder. 

"I know, I know. I was so fucking stupid, Gav. I lost lost my temper and I'm just so so fucking sorry" He paused, "You don't have to forgive me. What I did was fucking horrible and I deserve all pf this but... just know I love you, okay? Those two years when you were gone were hell, and I really need you. I'm so god damn sorry, Gavin"

It was like all of Gavin's anger melted away in the arms of Ryan and he was suddenly overcome with the sudden need to be with him, to be near him. The years had been hell for him too, and he spent it alone. The Brit had longed for this man's embrace for two years and here he was in his arms. Gavin grabbed Ryan's face and pressed it against his in an angry kiss that was full of passion that Gavin had been wanting. 

"Please don't leave me again" Ryan whispered into his ear.

And he didn't. In fact, that night while he was cuddled up to Ryan, the Brit finally got some restful sleep for the first night in two years.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos + comments appreciated


End file.
